In response to November 2007’s loss of some seven million individuals’ banking information, Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson wrote

“Back in November, the Government lost two computer discs containing half the population’s bank details,” he said. “Everyone worked themselves into a right old lather about the mistake but I argued we should all calm down because the details in question are to be found on every cheque we hand out every day to every Tom, Dick and cash and carry.

Jeremy then proceeded to publish his banking details, as well as information about the car he drives and where to find his address. In a thoroughly unsurprising turn of events, he found himself the victim of identity theft, donating £500 through a non-signature debit to the British Diabetic Association.

Now, with the pain of identity theft having been personalized, he has changed his tune.

“Contrary to what I said at the time, we must go after the idiots who lost the discs and stick cocktail sticks in their eyes until they beg for mercy.”